STAYING TRUE TO WHO YOU ARE, IN A WORLD THAT EXPECTS CONFORMITY
Each person is an individual with unique likes, dislikes, traits, personalities, upbringing – and lived experience. Very often, your sense of self is tested. Others might question your belief system, values, or principles which may differ greatly from their own or what is considered the ‘norm.’
Your personal truths help you stand firm and true to who you are as an individual. It is what you believe to be truth. Your truths stem from who you are and what you want in the life you have been given. Society often tries to dictate who you should be or how you should live your life, and this robs you of your personal power. You alone should control how you feel about yourself and how you choose to live your life. Only you should have the power to create your dream.
To better determine your personal truths, you may need to do some soul searching. What do you consider to be non-negotiable? Are there certain principles in life that you believe are fundamental to your sense of happiness, fulfillment, and overall balance in life? For example, if you stand for personal freedom, you believe everyone should have the opportunity to choose the people, situations, life path, or lifestyle that will bring them the greatest happiness – and satisfaction.
Speak your truth. Give light, awareness, power to what you believe is fair, just, good. Others may try to silence you, dim your light. When you say what is on your mind, with dignity, grace, a solid understanding of who you are and what you stand for, you align with your authentic self, your soul. You incarnated onto the planet to shine, brilliantly. Never allow anything or anyone to quell the splendor, the greatness, the vastness that is you.
Understand that much of the planet remains asleep, to the soul’s sense of duty, its strength of purpose, its commitment to staying lit in a world that has grown accustomed to darkness, suffering, limitation. You are here to shine your light, boldly, knowing the truth of your divinity. We are all divine souls, but some are not yet awakened to that reality.
They continue to fall in line, staying hidden, disconnected, failing to recognize their innate potential to push pass the glass ceiling. And that is alright, they too will wake up, in time. Each soul awakens in perfect, divine timing. Possibly in this lifetime, or another. But until then, be you, be bold, take each step, knowing it is your birthright to embrace your true identity with passion, strength, and without apology.
Much too often, society judges those who veer away from social conventions or what is usually expected, especially as it relates to gender specific norms. Women have come a long way in improving on a social, economic, or personal level. Yet, when a woman and mother chooses, for example, to leave an abusive (i.e.. emotional, physical, mental) marriage, her family members and friends might turn against her or urge her to return ‘for the benefit of the family unit.’ And although she may know that staying is not in her best interests, she may experience guilt, feeling blamed or shamed by others, for walking away from the unhealthy dynamic.
This deep sense of accountability or having done wrong (compounded when children are involved) is harmful to her wellbeing, mentally and emotionally. She might experience self-hatred, self-annihilation, inhibiting her growth, her aliveness, and her sense of self. This is where she must find her center, get balanced, and grounded.
Meditation will help her to better hear and give attention to her soul’s guidance. With a meditative mind, her thoughts will become balanced, and her mind still and calm. She will grow to trust the messages she receives, rather than conforming to the opinions or whims of others. No one else can walk in your shoes, you alone can do that.
It is only you who has experienced the pain, the deep sadness, the regret, the heavy heart, the sleepless nights, the loneliness, all too much to endure any longer.
In a relationship, especially where children are involved, women fear ending the union, believing the children will be better off in the long run, if the relationship remains intact. Although the ideal situation would be to have a loving, healthy, balanced relationship, this is not always the case. An environment such as this, is one children should be part of. This is how our children develop a healthy style of communication and ways of being, preparing them for successful intimate relationships in adulthood.
Almost four years ago, I too walked away from a toxic, unbalanced, and superficial relationship. What I mean by superficial is that it appeared happy and fulfilling on the outside, all of my material needs were met, but the emotional aspect of the relationship suffered for many years.
There was nothing I wanted for on a material level. Yet, the one thing I wanted most, a basic need, love and intimacy, remained elusive. Being a psychotherapist, I was adamant that we seek couples counseling. We did this on and off for several years throughout the seventeen years spent as a couple.
Finally, I decided to give (my now ex) husband an ultimatum. Although I personally do not like giving or receiving ultimatums, I knew that the marriage had reached the end of the road – and the therapist we decided on, was my last, final push to save it. It was only in leaving the relationship and healing began, that I realized I had taken more than I should have, for far too long.
We want our children to witness kindness, compassion, and communication that is healthy, secure, and loving. It is in an environment such as this, that children grow to become adults who are capable of maintaining a strong, stable, and nurturing connection with another person. This is how a family thrives.
What hurts children most is staying in a relationship where they learn the wrong meaning of the word love, to love – and to be loved. What creates dysfunction in our children is when two people part ways and stay bitter, angry, vengeful – and unforgiving. The more toxic the childhood environment, the greater the fear that remains within children, making them more rigid and limited in dealing with life.
If there are children involved, be open, reassuring, use age-appropriate dialogue when discussing the current circumstances with them. It will help them to better understand your choices, your belief system, your personal truths – and help them to begin to formulate their own truths, values, and philosophy about individual freedom.
Through your bold action, you show them what is acceptable and what is not. Your courage, staunch individualism, and refusal to conform to others’ expectations gives them the tools they will one day need, to better navigate their adult relationships, their lives, to make choices aligned with personal freedom – their divine right.
Others will always have an opinion, at the end of the day. But when you live according to your truth, where no one is harmed (i.e.. emotionally, physically, mentally) in the process, you are living in harmony with Divine Will.
You may be in partnership with someone who is toxic, unbalanced, or drains you energetically. And you might be doing more of the giving (on an emotional/mental level) in that relationship. Many women are natural born empaths, meaning they tend to give to their loved ones, both friends and family – and there is often an unequal exchange of energy in those relationships.
Just as the body requires balance or homeostasis to function well, there must also be balance in your relationships, career, and otherwise.
Often, when a mother chooses to give a great deal of attention to her professional life, she is judged. Although her aim is to leave a legacy for her children, she travels to pursue her goals, dreams, and life path to do so, and is harshly criticized. She is a loving, giving, attentive mother – and at the same time values goals, hard work, and a life lived in purpose. A father who goes after his destiny with the same tenacity is seen as a “good provider.” This is a double standard, and it continues today.
If you are not sure what your purpose is in this life, your task is to discover what your soul is here to accomplish.
Close to two years before my marriage ended, I too felt stuck, unsettled, anxious about my career path. After our second son was born, I was a stay at home mother for eight years. I reached a point where I yearned to return to the workforce, craving a life of meaning, but after having been out of the counseling field for so long, I felt lost, in the dark, unsure what direction to take.
I understand today that everything was working out as intended. The uncertainty in the marriage, my stalled career, want for purpose, blurred sense of self, all had to come to the surface, to unravel, let go so that my soul could take the reins. I needed to let go of what was no longer serving me, so I could invite in the new, a fundamental law of the Universe. It was time to walk away, to find my true self, to grow, to make my way in this world, on my own terms.
Whether it is your sexuality, religious beliefs, decision to end a marriage, your parenting style, dating preferences, your profession and longing for a purposeful life – the choice is yours.
Trust your own intuition, it is your inner navigation system, it will always guide you well. When something or someone is not for you, you know, you feel it, in your gut, trust that feeling. Your Higher Self is alerting you, getting your attention, heightening your awareness.
Ignoring red flags, putting up with disrespect, or believing you cannot have what you deserve simply delays the inevitable, permits abusive behavior, and further impacts your self-love and sense of self.
You can make it on your own. Going against the grain, it is what your soul was made for. Your happiness, your peace, your love of self, your destiny, becomes your lived life when you choose to live life on your terms.
This is true personal freedom, personal power, it is yours for the taking. So, take it, own it, embrace it. Rely on Universal energies to guide you, trust your intuition, take that step forward.
This is what your soul came here to do, to take on challenge, to step up, to grow from it all, and to further step into your true self. Growth happens when others think, say, believe you do not have it in you to succeed. Yet, your persistence, self-belie, courageous heart, immortal, steadfast soul, will get you through the journey of the unknown.
It is a voyage where the path ahead is not clearly marked, with unexpected changes, unforeseen consequences, because you took the road less traveled. Have no fear, stay the course.
You are being carried, uplifted, shifting to a new landscape, a new life, a higher frequency.
The Universe will sustain you as you move toward independence, self-sufficiency, as you create a solid future for yourself – and your family. Know that your spirit guides are behind you, encouraging and supporting your quest to find balance, harmony, and success.
You are here to be you, not anyone else’s interpretation of what that is or should look like. Live a life that is you, unapologetically you.
In the spiritual realm, in soul form, you are always given choices. You choose when you want to return to the planet. You decide who you want to return as (i.e.. gender, sexuality, race, ethnicity), based upon the lessons you need to learn, your purpose and any karma (from your previous life) you have decided to resolve.
When you are out of your physical body, you view life from a higher perspective and frequency. You are no longer blinded by the untruths of your ego. You know you are limitless, you understand your strength, you view yourself and others with kindness and compassion. You do not judge yourself and you are not judged, no matter the choices you made while in physical form.
But in our human body, we lose sight of our divinity. We forget we have the freedom to make choices that serve our highest good – to feel happy, safe, respected, loved, accepted, and cherished, on a soul deep level.
Since you are the creator of your reality, the question is, are you willing to accept a creation where you have given up a piece of your true self? Are you comfortable with the status quo? Does blindly conforming to the expectations and wishes of others sit well with you? Only you can answer these important questions.
Following your own intuition, not the beliefs of others, can change the trajectory of your life, aligning you with your soul mission, placing you on a path to deep growth, change, and true happiness.
Just remember, the Universe wants you to be happy. So, create a reality that reflects your thoughts, desires, and beliefs – your personal truths. You will be supported by the Universe in all that you do. You are never alone on your journey. You have a spirit team, here to help you achieve all that your soul incarnated into physical form to accomplish.
Go in search of your happy. You incarnated onto the planet to experience joy and fulfillment. Surround yourself with people (i.e.. lovers, friends, family) that support you, want to elevate you, see you flourish, and prosper. When you are surrounded by positive, uplifting people who give you the freedom to be you, you are in the right company. Never settle for less than the best. You are worth it!
No one should be given the power to squelch your essence, limit your capacity to shine, or control your destiny. You are here to walk your own path. It was paved for you, far before you can recall. That power to be you is in your hands and should never be handed over to anyone else. Take back your power.
If you want to pursue your dreams, you do not need anyone’s permission to go after what is divinely yours. Continue being a loving, devoted mother, sister, and friend. With determination, go after your goal, your dreams, your deepest longings because this is what your soul needs, to experience true freedom. Balance is the key. You can have it all.
Source, Spirit, God or the Universe gives you free will. Do not give others permission to take away what is divinely yours. Your freedom to choose is a privilege, given to you by the Creator. And choosing the relationship, the circle of friends, the career, and life path that best serves you and grows you, is your birthright.
You deserve to have a destiny that lights you up, whatever that looks like for you. Find your purpose in this life. Live freely, fully, knowing you are always supported by the entire Universe.
We live in a society that wants you to conform, to stay in line with what is expected, to remain silent, hidden, stunted and in fear. Fear is what holds you back in life. It keeps you stuck, confined, small, limited – and not in alignment with the magnificence that is your soul.
You were created to be different, to stand out, apart from the rest of the pack. Your soul makes you unique, honor it. It comes equipped with all that you need. Your gifts, talents, interests and strengths. Encoded, your soul arrives with the knowledge, the tools to live in purpose, to soar, to find your bliss, and to live your best life.
Make choices that resonate with your soul, your authentic self. Let go of all people, relationships, associations, habits or patterns that do not resonate with you. Release them, make space for the new to come into your life.
You are a spirit being, made of energy. Your presence here, as a human, is for your soul to live in accordance with its essence. Your family and friends may find it difficult to understand you, your truth, or what you know you deserve in this life, but your soul always knows what it needs.
When you let go of what no longer serves your highest good, you energetically begin to attract what is in alignment with your authentic self.
That is where you are headed. Go forth, knowing the Universe is on your side. Live without fear, without regret. Live your truth.
Meditate, go inside, this is where you begin. Silence the noise that surrounds you. The answers are all inside you. It is all there, the answers you seek, the right way forward, your best life is just ahead.
Call on this vast Universe that surrounds you, it is here for you. Ask your guides (i.e.. angels, spirit guides, ascended masters) for support. They are happy to help, your free will invites them forward, into your life, to guide you. Your spirit team leads you on the path for right people, opportunities, and situations to enter your life, the choice to follow their guidance, is ultimately yours. They will assist you with aligning your energy with your life purpose and soul mission.
If you need help to leave a relationship that no longer grows or serves your highest good, the Universe will always be at your side. You can ask for help though prayer. Your spirit team will give you the best way forward. Signs, events, situations, people to help you in your quest, will line up before you.
The spirit realm works for the Divine Will of the Creator – and your joy, your happiness in this life, is their top priority. Your choices are yours to make. Naturally, all choices come with consequences.
Friends may fall away, comfortable situations will come to a close – and family might not approve. You might second guess yourself, your choices, your strength to take the path that leads you home, to you.
When you live in alignment with who you are, you will never be led astray. You will always remain on course. It is the path that leads you back to who you are, your soul, your true self.
Choices made in alignment with your divine self, what serves your highest good, decisions that represent your truth, will always be carried, and held up by Universal energies. All that you want in your life, all of your heart’s desires are supported by the Divine. Everything is happening for you, and it will all happen in divine timing, in divine order.
You were born to experience your infinity, let your soul lead the way. Embrace non-conformity, your inner strength, your spirit, your dharma. Integrate your passion with creativity, triumph with determination, follow your intuition, remember your limitlessness – and trust the process.